After nearly four years together. Rebecca*, 22, was unaware her partner Nick*, 24, was in a drug fuelled downward spiral.
I first met Nick at a nightclub. I was 18, and had just finished school and was up for some fun. He was introduced by a friend of mine and we immediately hit it off. I was aware that he'd taken ecstasy and had been drinking a lot that night but I was quite naïve and thought, 'Wow, he's pretty cool'.
I was also just beginning to experiment with alcohol and recreational drugs myself so I thought it was all innocent fun. Nick and I shared a kiss on the dance floor and exchanged numbers. We continued to meet each other at clubs and our relationship developed from there.
Nick was my first serious boyfriend and I was very influenced by him. When we first started dating, hanging out with him was always so much fun. I was never worried about his drug taking in the early stages of our relationship; I just thought, 'He does an occasional party drug here and there, it's nothing serious'.
But I was blinded by the casual nature of it — Nick made it seem so normal to take drugs every time we went out. It wasn't long before I started taking ecstasy with him but I never felt I needed it, like he seemed to.
I was infatuated with him and his 'bad boy' attitude and persuaded myself to think his obsession with drugs wasn't a serious issue. Looking back, I wonder what the hell I was thinking at the time.
For the next three and a half years, our relationship was one big party — every weekend was a new adventure. But there were little things he said and did that just weren't right. He never doted on me or bought me flowers and he was also quite insecure.
To make himself feel better he'd put me down. When I'd get ready to go out, he would look disgustedly at my outfit and say, 'You look slutty, you're not going out in that'. He would also get really jealous if I spoke to other guys. He was my first love so I thought his erratic behaviour was normal.
Six months before our relationship ended, I noticed a massive change in Nick. He was juggling university, full-time work and had moved out of home to live on campus. I assumed he was acting strangely because he was stressed out with balancing all his commitments. He'd be at my house and then leave suddenly saying, 'I've got to go home and finish off a uni assignment', whereas he'd usually stay the night.
Previously we'd hang out all the time, then he just gradually stopped wanting to. He also became really indecisive. I would ask, 'What do you want to do for lunch?' but he couldn't make up his mind and would just end up staying at home.
He slept all the time, looked really pale and didn't eat regular meals. I asked if he was depressed. I told him he could confide in me but every time he'd get angry and fob me off.
Then one afternoon, I'd finally had enough. I wasn't happy in the relationship and I wasn't feeling loved or appreciated. So I looked at some messages on his Facebook page and found out he had cheated on me and was bragging about it. I was in shock. I confronted him and asked him to explain what the hell was going on; it was then that he admitted to cheating.
After that he broke down and revealed that for the past six months he'd been acting weirdly because he'd been smoking weed and doing Valium every second day. He was abusing prescription drugs and taking a whole mixture of other drugs.
He said he couldn't cope without taking them and had tried to stop but couldn't and that's why he'd been acting distant. He was doing cocaine, Valium, weed, pills, speed — you name it, he was addicted to it. He'd hidden it from me for months and I had no idea. I couldn't believe it.
Although I was so angry he'd cheated on me, I felt sorry for him and his addiction and wanted to get him help, so I immediately went to his mum and told her everything. We got him straight into therapy. He was diagnosed with depression and now he's taking medication for it.
Since then, I've tried to distance myself from the whole sad situation. The experience has changed me as a person. I now have a boyfriend who's lovely, treats me well and doesn't do drugs, and I think I'm so lucky to have gotten out of that relationship.
*Names have been changed.
As told to Edwina Carr
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