So you've scored yourself a date for tonight. But nowadays it's not as simple as dinner and a movie - us Kiwis have become extra-sensitive to first date faux pas. So if you wanna make it to date number two here's what not to do.
We're all about the sobriety
Don't get really drunk, especially when your date is driving and therefore sober. No one likes a drunk person at the best of times let alone when you're stuck in a restaurant with them with no escape. Stick to one or two glasses and even if the date is really bad fight the temptation to skull a margarita and nine shots of tequila. You'll just make a dick of yourself and you don't want a reputation of being "that alchy".
Lose the list or lose the date
We know it's not always easy to think of something to say to a person you've just met — but, please God, don't write a list of conversation starters. If you need to make a list, do it in your head and try to make the conversation flow throughout the night. No one, we repeat no one, needs to interrogated via a list of questions on the first date, whether the questions are funny or not.
Dress appropriately
If you're going out for dinner, that show-us-your-lunch mini or boardies and jandals are an absolute no-no. Other items to avoid include excessively open shirts with large gold jewellery, velour tracksuits, t-shirts with slogans such as "Fancy a f*#k?" and shoes with holes with them. No one wants to be seated next to someone who looks like they escaped from a Little Britain episode. Stick with your more smart/casual pieces such as high-waisted skirts and platform heels.
Parents are an instant party-pooper
Don't ask your date to come to a family occasion the weekend after you've met them. Meeting the family is way too huge for a second date and should be kept until you've figured out whether there's actually a future to the relationship. No one likes to be attacked by mothers who only want grandchildren or fathers who want to know your intentions. This also goes for family holidays. Not fun. Ever.
Keep the texting to a minimum
21 texts in 24 hours is NOT good. No one needs to know what you are doing at every moment of the day or whether you got home ok, what you had for lunch and what you're doing in three weekend's time. Seriously, we got your text, if we're not replying there IS a reason for it. Can you say restraining order?
Don't be a name dropper
No one cares if you met the cast of Shortland Street or Simon Dallow at a party. That's just not interesting. If you happen to meet Johnny Depp or Sienna Miller in passing on a trip, it's ok to drop that into conversation but don't act like they're your new best friend.
The topic of children is off-limits for at least a year
Asking someone on the first date how many children they want is just so wrong on so many levels. No one plans their future with a blind date. This is a sure-fire way to drive a person away. Great way to get out of a bad date though.
Never ask about their bedroom exploits
No one is going to share their best and worst sex experiences with you on a first date unless you are both absolutely trolleyed (which, according to number one, is a bad, bad idea). Either you wait and see or ask and never find out.
I thought we told you parents were a no-no
Talking about your mum is a neat way to drive a girl away, boys. We all know that mummy's boys have a hard time doing anything for themselves because their mums cook, clean and pick them up when they're written-drunk outside Showgirls. No one can compete with a mummy's boy's mum, so try not to be one on the first date.
Don't pick on your date
It's not cool to hassle someone's laugh or how they say squirrel. Just build a bridge and tell your friends about it later. No one likes being hassled, especially by the opposite sex, so try, just this once, to zip the lip.
Politics = the graveyard of first date conversations
Grand political and religious statements are for Helen and Gandhi to pull out on a first date, not you. Until you know someone better keep the controversial jokes, statements and impressions to yourself. No one likes the awkward silence that comes with offensive comments.
By Cleo Staff
