Got it on? Now getting out ...
Picture this: you've woken up with a pounding head and a strange sense of dread — because last night, you slept with someone you really shouldn't have. It's a shocker of a mistake, the kind where "uh-o" just doesn't cut it. If only you could press the rewind button and make it all go away.
Well, we can't perform miracles but we do have an emergency clean-up guide to help repair the damage.
You've slept with ...
A total stranger
Well, he was hot last night after you had a bottle of champagne (or was it two?) But in daylight he looks like your high school teacher and smells like he's never used soap. Short of gnawing off your trapped arm so you can leave without waking him, there's not much you can do to avoid that awkward morning-after moment. So how do you handle it gracefully and without having to give him your number?
"Be up-front," says Penelope Boyle, psychologist and sex therapist. "Tell him you're not in the right headspace for anything more and, while he's a great guy, you don't feel a proper connection." Don't be rude or bolt for the door. Smile like you had a really good time and be nice and firm; there's no need for him to know you're desperately planning an exit route.
Your best guy friend
You know the deal. He's your totally platonic guy friend who can be trusted to attend a function (and not expect sex at the end of the night). He's the one you go to for advice and know that he'll dish it out in that simple, unbiased guy way we love. That is until your Friday night D&M turns into a 2am shag. Will things be the same now that he's seen your boobs?
"This situation really isn't that bad," says Boyle. "Sleeping with your guy friend is merely an extension of your relationship. We all have these awful 'It shouldn't have happened' thought, when we should just see it for what it was: fun and intimate contact." Before you stutter excuses and avoid him for weeks, ask yourself: "Why did I do this?" Are you two actually perfect for one another but had never taken the plunge? "Find out how he feels," says Boyle. "Either way, he's one person you don't want to lose so it's best to work this one out together."
Your ex
When he left and broke your heart into pieces, you swore you'd never sleep with him again. But then you've never been one for willpower. While you wish you could have told him where to shove it when you saw him last night, he looked so cute you forgot he was the scum of the earth. It's okay, you just have to take charge of the situation and remind him where he stands.
"Tell him that you won't be taken for a ride," says relationship counsellor Carolyn Midwood. "Ask him not to contact you for a while. You need space to work on yourself and put closure on the relationship." If he resists, explain that you can't just slip back into a relationship without taking time to work out what went wrong and what you've learnt. Be strong and march out of his room like you mean it. Just don't leave anything behind.
A friend's ex
It doesn't get much worse than this. Sleeping with your friend's ex-boyfriend is rarely a good idea. But one bad decision doesn't make you a bad person. This is totally repairable, but it may take time.
"Tell your friend yourself," says Midwood. "If you don't, every time you see her you'll be reminded of your guilt — it'll have a huge impact on your friendship. Let her know how bad you feel and ask for her forgiveness."
Above all, be considerate and allow her to vent her feelings. It won't be much fun at first but, hopefully, once the shock's worn off, she'll get over it and be thankful you were honest.
By Melissa Ironside
