Moving it together? Five talks to have now ...
So, you're about to move in with your man. Congratulations. But before you call the removalist, put down a month's rent and head to Freedom, it's time to deal with a little housekeeping — literally.
Yep, we're talking house rules, finances and whose sofa is making the move to your new address. Here are five little questions you need to ask this minute, to avoid killing each other later.
Who pays for what?
Assuming your finances will work themselves out? Yup, and Britney's never going to walk down the aisle again. As awkward as this might be, discussing dollars is a wake-up call that living together is not just going to be "romance and afternoon delight". You've got one of two ways to go here.
Either tally up your monthly bills and divide by two, or split all expenses between you – as in, you take care of gas and phone, while he's responsible for electricity, groceries and low-fat chocolate body paint. After six months, reassess the situation and renegotiate if necessary.
If one of you earns way more than the other, it's possible to have this reflected in your outgoings strategy. But be warned, people of both genders (mainly men) are prone to confusing money with power, and this can infect the relationship like an incurable virus.
Who does what?
For men, home is where the laundry falls and you crash — although not necessarily in that order. We couldn't care less if we step in a pizza box on the way to the toilet at night; we launder when we've run out of undies to turn inside-out (in order to get another day's wear out of the bastards) and vacuuming only takes place when the house dust mites leave a note saying their asthma is acting up.
For many women, however, home functions as a sanctuary, a retreat and, in some cases, an expression of taste and style. Before moving in together, it must be established that the man will need to heighten his hygiene and decor standards – and that the woman may need to teach him how. Set aside a weekly time and divide the tasks between you.
He washes the clothes, vacuums the floor and dusts while you do the dishes, clean the bathroom and rid the fridge of items purchased when the Backstreet Boys were still making hit records.
Who watches what?
Yes, he will be all over that remote like Tara Reid at an open bar. So if you're unable to afford a second TV, get regimented on his ass with a strict one-hour-for-you, one-hour-for-me schedule. Then, channel-surf until you find a few shows you both enjoy. This combination should give you the chance to spend some quality couch-time together, without him making you sit through the wrestling on FOX8 as a sign of your love.
Who decorates what?
For a start, the 3D scratch-and-sniff Pamela Anderson poster has to go. But if you're granted that wish, he can nominate something of yours that he feels makes his home a little too girlie. And so on. Taking the nominations as a personal affront to your taste will be as counterproductive as chilli powder in your lubricant, so don't let this become an argument about your respective aesthetic savviness.
If there are some items you both can't live without, consider dividing the house into common areas, which are mutually agreeable, and personal pockets, where, for example, he can be surrounded by his autographed V8 beer mug collection and Girls Gone Wild box set.
Who invites who over?
Unless you tackle this, I can guarantee that, one day, you'll arrive home from a horror day at work to find your lounge room filled with strange men screaming "'Carn the Chiefs!" at the telly and having reached that state of drunkenness where belching the lyrics to a Kings of Leon song counts as entertainment.
Your man will emerge, carrying your family heirloom tea set from which he'll pour beer while introducing "the guys from the loading dock". To avoid this situation, set some rules about having guests over, like appropriate notice, numbers and clean-up. Like many of the above conversations, it may need to take place more than once; repetition is the key when it comes to house-training a man.
By Cleo Staff
