It's not uncommon. The curse of the mid 20's crisis.
Pulling your hair out because you haven't scored that OS job, inner-city pad, and dream guy by 25? It's time to pop a "realistic" pill.
Work and guys. That's the killer combo that caused Penelope Green's mid-20s crisis. "I'd been working as a newspaper journalist since I left high school," she explains. "I didn't know what excited me on a work level anymore.
"I was putting myself under immense pressure and questioning where my life was going. Then I broke up with a guy I'd been seeing for a year. When you're not happy at work, or in love, you feel pretty wretched. I certainly used a lot of Kleenex."
Green's not the only girl who wishes she'd bought shares in the tissue company prior to her dramas. Abby Wilner, the woman who popularised the term "quarter-life crisis" (QLC), fell into a similar emotional pit. She'd finished uni, didn't know what to do with her life, and moved back in with her parents.
"There was nothing out there that acknowledged this major life transition to help me cope. That's why I decided to write Quarterlife Crisis (Penguin Group, $23.95)." The response to the book was overwhelming. Wilner says, "Other twentysomethings found comfort knowing that they weren't alone."
Wilner defines a quarter-life crisis as "a state of panic and uncertainty that often accompanies the transition to adulthood". She adds, "Although it's always existed, it's a more significant and prolonged process today because of job-hopping and delaying marriage."
So why the freakout? If you ask Uncle Google about the QLC, you'll find a few million opinions explaining why it happens. To narrow it down, we spoke to Dr Elizabeth Tindle, a psychologist from the Queensland University of Technology, who has been coaching twentysomethings through this difficult period for over 30 years.
Unrealistic expectations
We've watched enough TV to know what success looks like: a great job, fabulous clothes, a tastefully decorated apartment. After all that screen time, we've come to expect a standard of living that's way up in the stratosphere.
However, equating happiness with the number of designer duds in our wardrobe is a recipe for an emotional crash. "Happiness doesn't come through acquisition," says Tindle.
"Happiness is connection; belonging. It's your community, your group of friends and what you're involved in," which is why emotional storylines resonate with us more than shopping montages on TV.
By CLEO staff
